This plaintive wail from the followers of Cadillac Moose is understandable as the beloved alces alces of the Two Lane Touring site has been mysteriously missing for weeks. I shall bring you up to date on the Case of the Curious Moose.

First through I must dispel a most guileful rumor that your host at the Two Lane Touring site was involved. Not true. Even as I approach the three-quarter of a century mark I must protest that traveling for many miles each day, hiking, tearing down and setting up camp, hiking, museums to visit, repairs and maintenance of car and trailer, photography, processing, posting each day of the journey, planning, daily repasts, shopping, and a bit of sleep ever left me too tired to also attend to the needs of the Moose. Rubbish, Cadillac simply vanished.

How, you say? Here is the tale as odd as it is true. It began as many of Cadillac’s misadventures do, with food. The Moose was doing pretty well six weeks into the journey, even if his expectation to supplant the quintessential coach of the Great British Baking Show, Paul Hollywood, was a quixotic quest with a certain conclusion, he was trying. Then we arrived at Big Bend National Park. At one place Mexicans had placed pottery and other bits on the ground to sell. Now no one was there, you left your funds in a jar and took your purchase. The Moose was sure he would find a taco or enchilada in one of the vessels and after trying on a spectacular hat he begin to explore the pots. We reminded him that we were leaving and expected he was back in his travel cubby. But, no. Another tourist picked up a large jar, paid his $10 and left with a Moose asleep in the bottom. Unfortunately for Cadillac this family was from Norway and leaving in the morning. Cadillac awoke in luggage somewhere over the North Atlantic and content with the situation, went back to sleep. Then things took an ominous turn.

In Oslo he was discovered by the customs agent and he had no papers. The poor Norwegian family claimed no knowledge of him and the government declared him a stow-a-way and would not allow him to leave the airport. At first the Moose was upset but soon realized a Moose in an Airport is a Curiosity and there were many places to get food and people glad to feed him. Not food he knew much about. However, soon was enjoying fårikå- a hearty stew, smoked salmon, lutefisk, Gudbrandsdalsost- a smelly brown cheese, and his favorite, sursild, pickled herring. He ate a lot of pickled herring.

Meanwhile the authorities at the airport were desperate to rid themselves of the havoc creating Moose. Mexico declared they had no moose and would not welcome one regardless of what kind of pot he was in. Canada insisted they had zero missing moose and did not need another, the USA refused to permit him with no vaccinations. Out of options and near panic over his escalating demands, they choose to declare him a “comfort” animal and go commercial to Canada where his handler would conveniently lose him in a forest. That plan went awry when the wildfires forced the plane to be re-routed to the USA but Dulles, Newark, Logan and Laguardia were all under restrictions because of the smoke so Raleigh was selected. When the plane landed and Cadillac noted familiar food was nearby he headed for the first Chick-fil-A he could see and that was, you guessed it, 1/2 mile from our house.

So he is back, but in quarantine until such time as the pickled herring breath abates, might be weeks.

We are so lucky.

But "Where is the Moose?" /June 14, 2023 by Dave Hileman